Remember Who You Are

Total solar eclipse at 19° of Aries

The Ring Nebula, comprised of the glowing remains of a sun-like star in its final stages of evolution. Its remnants of dust and gas are actively creating a nursery area where new stars may form.

Monday, April 8th, at 11:20am PST, we receive the second lunation of this eclipse season — a total solar eclipse at 19° of Aries, cosmic sign of the instinctual self. Where the Libra lunar eclipse occurred on the south or clearing lunar node, and was all about releasing/cutting ties with unhealthy and unholy relationship dynamics, this solar eclipse in Aries is happening on the north node, the node of increase, and is very much about calling IN fresh reserves of personal power and resanctifying our relationship with our own Self. Aries is connected archetypally to the 1st house, which governs initiations and how we incarnate into this world through this specific body, with its specific nature and needs. Through our Aries instincts, we develop an ego, define ourselves as individuals, and experience our drive for independence, to be a unique force acting on the world. If you’re noticing a stronger-than-usual need to be alone or do things alone right now, or in some way to get clear of the thoughts and moods and energies of others so that you can hear and feel yourself, that makes sense for this kind of dramatic activation in Aries. It’s like we are all being drawn to tend to our inner fires. Aries is cardinal fire, and its ruled by Mars, who is the fieriest; so its lessons are always drawing us into deeper relationship with this fire, with our true selves, with our spirit and agency and will. Over time, we learn more and more about what it means to be ourselves, wholly and with integrity.

If this were a regular Aries new moon, it would be time to harness a fresh current of manifestation and set some intentions for refocusing our lifeforce in the area of our lives that Aries leads. But eclipse seasons have bigger plans for us. They temporarily destabilize all current energies and forms to effect rapid change. Sometimes these changes are more subtle or behind the scenes, and I find this especially to be true of south node eclipses. Sometimes these changes are bright and obvious, which I find to be true of north node eclipses. As a reminder, right now our usual light and power sources (the Sun and the Moon) are unreliable, and we are cautioned to proceed humbly, mindfully, and without force. During eclipse seasons we get to experience the spinning Wheel of Fortune, an acceleration of collective evolutionary processes that are much much larger than us, but that we are a part of. We do not have to do anything to cause these changes, and we cannot block or stop them from happening. What we can and should do is pay attention, and frankly marvel at what the eclipses are bringing about. For an Aries eclipse perhaps especially, we can seek to see the personal gift in whatever is occurring, and how it might support our own evolution and individuation.

There are some significant aspects shaping the energies of this eclipse, and they each feel like a shiny key to how all this is actually showing up. First, it’s a total solar eclipse — which means its happening within a few degrees of the north node degree, and it’s happening in an exact-degree conjunction with Chiron. This is pretty wild, as Chiron’s transit of Aries is an especially long 9-year one, from 2018-2027. (Chiron’s transits vary greatly in length, from 1.5 years in Libra to 8-9 years in Aries). I don’t think I can overhype this synchronicity. Chiron is the wounded healer archetype. It represents our deep core wounds, the ones that can’t be fully healed or fixed, the ones that create tender openings in us through which compassion, love, and healing power may flow through. In Aries, it’s been trying to get us to reckon with and heal our wounded self-images and self-definitions. This is like cosmic acupuncture: this eclipse is happening on the precise point of a wound to your ability to connect with, accept, love, know, and be yourself fully, exactly as you are.

It could be hitting the root of your shame. It could be hitting a part you that doubts whether you have a right to be here, whether you are fundamentally good enough, whether you belong in this world and have a reason for being here. It could be activating a deeply wounded inner child state. These are the kind of wounds that start out being inflicted by others, but become self-inflicted, and they hold us back quite seriously. Chiron’s been periodically activating these pain points for six years now, slowly bringing them to the surface, to fuller consciousness, so that they can be loved on and attended to—so that we can take responsibility for the part we’ve been playing in our own suffering by not rewriting these self-stories. This eclipse season will quicken all of that if we allow it to. These energies are strong enough to get us through the heart of it, and prepare us for the final act, which I suspect could involve further revelations about our purpose. Something about the unique contribution each of us can make to the liberation of all beings, discovered by first liberating ourselves.

Another significant factor is that Aries’ ruler Mars is currently in Pisces, just a few degrees from Saturn. Pisces is cosmic, mutable water, the sacred waters we come from and will return to. Mars in Pisces is a little unpredictable, guided by shapeshifting emotions and nebulous spiritual guidance. One minute it takes charge, the next, it surrenders completely. One of the things Saturn in Pisces has been working with us on is how to contain and still our inner waters through meditation, and it’s not a bad idea to do some of that today or in the coming days, in the way that works for you. The highest collaboration of Mars and Pisces is spiritual warriorship. The lessons and healings and messages coming through on this eclipse are from on high; like, from ourselves before we were born; direct from our spirit or soul or essence.

Meanwhile, Venus is in Aries—she arrived on Thursday. She was in charge of the Libra eclipse, and now she’s in a good position to influence this one as well. The blessing of the goddess of relationships and love and beauty on this eclipse is no small matter, considering what a painful, tender spot this eclipse is potentially activating. If you’ve been saying the Beauty Way prayer after my last newsletter (In Beauty It Is Ended), don’t stop now. Venus can help us if we ask her, or Kuan Yin or Mother Mary—all the water mothers and water sisters, all the bearers of cosmological love and compassion. We can even just call out to Love or Compassion itself. They can help us tap into the part of us that is so receptive, so sensitive, we can hear the messages of the fishes and the stars, the sacred language before language that gives rise to all ideas. They can lead us to our potential by activating the powers of the heart.

Final condition, and I know I am being so thorough, but I just want to really honor this astrology. We entered the field of this solar eclipse on Monday, April 1st - the Fool’s day - which also hosted Mercury stationing retrograde in Aries. Last year, the spring equinox brought a new moon at 0° of Aries (The Gospel of Neuroplasticity), and zero is the number of the Fool. We got a second new moon in Aries last spring, a total solar eclipse at 29°of Aries, the first in this series (Quantum Leaping). So this Fool’s day Mercury retrograde in Aries synchronicity been winking at me all week, telling me to look back at all that, and that the deeper calling of this eclipse is the call of the Great Fool. In ancient wisdom traditions, the Fool is the most revered of the archetypes because the Fool risks everything in being themselves. You must ultimately be your own guide. While we get to learn from each other in this life, and draw inspiration from each other, you are your greatest teacher. It’s time to remember who you are, really: who you are are in the dimension of your deepest cosmological truth.

If it’s needed, this eclipse will be trying to reforge the bond between your conscious persona—how you survive as yourself in the world—and the unconscious matrix of your true self. Imagine that everything happening in your life right is trying to do this, trying to reflect the real you back to you. If you’ve never experienced the quiet strength of this unfuckwithable part of you, get ready to love it. Get ready for the incredible relief of discovering you are exactly who you are supposed to be, that you are connected to the cosmic source of all Love, and that can bask in this ancient love as needed. When this true Self is activated and empowered, we do not experience a surge pride or even confidence, but rather true humility. From this place of deep inner connection, all our self-examination can finally bear healing fruit. We can bring into clarity anything that has been obscured by shame or self-hate or self-doubt, by simple returning, again and again, to this love. If you want to, right now, you can know your own vibration; you can feel it, the sacred sound of you. Anytime you need to move through wounded emotional states, this is how you begin. Anytime you have big life questions, you can go deeper, you can meditate, or go on a vision quest, and seek counsel and insight from your own inner teacher. You can use the mantra given to me by one of my favorite teachers, Bernard Unterman, and simply repeat, slowly, lovingly, and until you mean it, I wish to be myself.

Whatever you are remembering or learning, whatever old or new insights are arriving, just take it all in, and know that the task ahead is simply to go deeper into being yourself. To live within the state of your deep convictions. To risk it all, foolishly, in being yourself completely. Diamonds are created—including the diamond of the Self—in the deepest, darkest, hottest, most highly pressurized underground vortices. It is rarely easy to be or become yourself fully, and to come into your power. And this whole year is going to be like a fiery furnace of transmutation. So if things have been very hard, epically hard, take heart, and just keep going. The protection and courage you need to take the next big risks you need to take will be granted as you commit to being yourself, and immerse yourself ever more deeply in your own lifeforce. Embrace yourself and embrace your process. When Mars returns to Aries on April 30th, it will finally be time to integrate these insights, to burn brightly and shine forth.

Another doozy, the Helix Nebula. Nebulas that look like Cosmic Soul Eyes are a thing. These images are like hypnotic mirrors, in which we can reflect on what is dying, and what is being born.

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Prompts

(Disclaimer: Prompts are suggestions, not instructions. Play with what sounds good to you, ignore what’s doesn’t. Adapt in any way you see fit.)

*There will be no ritual prompts during eclipse season, please consider laying low on wielding the sword of you personal will. I am instead sharing a practice for looking in the cosmic mirror, as it were, to see your own unique genius, as well as a creative writing prompt, born out of this Aries eclipse’s themes.